Friday, September 15, 2006

Vincent - Starry, Starry Night



TO LIVE AN INSPIRED LIFE MEANS TO LIVE WITH PASSION, APPRECIATION, GRATITUDE AND LOVE.

It makes me smile with tears gushing from the depths of my soul to listen to this song. Don McLean captured the heart and soul of a true artist, Vincent Van Gogh, who was in pain because he thought no one, including himself, could appreciate his own beauty.

Only an artist like Van Gogh could mask a wound so deep and paint it in colors. Van Gogh longed for love & validation just like everyone else. On another plane, only an inspired artist like McLean could understand the sadness of an empty heart and sing it with such melody. Although it was too late for Vincent, McLean wrote the song with inspiration and appreciation for Van Gogh.

Vincent "the pure hearted, singleminded boy", Van Gogh "the infamous Impressionist, one of the most Incredible Artist ever" struggled within himself, seeking the purpose of his life.

Although I know of this song, I never really knew what it meant until I heard it again from Dr. Wayne Dyer's public TV broadcast on his book "Inspiration: Your Ultimate Calling". Dr. Dyer explained how Van Gogh's parents lost their first child also named Vincent at birth. And when they got pregnant again, they named him Vincent once again. Vincent felt as the "replacement child" and never his own person.

It is heart breaking for me to know that miscommunication between parent & child can mean so much more on a different level and how a parent's influence and/or views on his/her child can be so powerful...so powerful that it can destroy or build the his/her child's soul. But how far can that influence and interpretation take? Although I see Vincent's heart as a child, I cannot help question his manhood. Does a rightful passage from child to adulthood need to take place first and what would that require? Was he that confused or was he ahead of his time? He felt unwanted because he was viewed differently by others that he ended up believing it that way instead of embracing his uniqueness. Why did he needed to wait for someone else to tell him how wonderful he was when all he really needed to do was look at himself in the mirror and paint a different picture? Perhpas it takes someone like him to sacrifice a life for someone like McLean and me to be inspired by his story.

I appreciate you Vincent, although it maybe too late for you to know but you have inspired me as well. Your unfortunate death jumps at me and pushes me to face myself again. In your honor, I face the mirror and paint a self portrait that would capture every shadow, every wrinkle and every emotion I feel within me. In gratitude, I promise to capture not only the shadows but the bright light in my future. With passion, I will not wait for anyone to do it for me. With love, I shall paint my life as I imagined it to be.

I can't help but see that it is our own self views that destroy us! It is how we choose to take in the preception of others and make it our own or not that makes the difference. No matter how much influence our parents have on us as their children...in the end it is our self validation and self confidence that will set us free to soar any heights. I consider myself truly blessed to have realized this early on in my life and be the little girl and artist I can be in my lifetime...HAPPY and ALIVE!

Thank you Vincent Van Gogh, Don McLean and Wayne Dyer for the inspiration, the reminder of how a blessing comes in many forms and that it is only in our perception that it would be.



Vincent- Starry Starry Night


VINCENT - Don McLean, 1972.

Starry starry night, paint your palette blue and grey
Look out on a summer's day with eyes that know the darkness in my soul
Shadows on the hills, sketch the trees and the daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills, in colors on the snowy linen land

Now I understand what you tried to say to me
How you suffered for you sanity
How you tried to set them free
They would not listen they did not know how,
perhaps they'll listen now

Starry starry night, flaming flowers that brightly blaze
Swirling clouds in violet haze reflect in Vincent's eyes of chine blue
Colors changing hue, morning fields of amber grain
Weathered faces lined in pain are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand


For they could not love you, but still your love was true
And when no hope was left in sight, on that starry starry night
You took your life as lovers often do,
But I could have told you, Vincent,
This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you

Starry, starry night, portraits hung in empty halls
Frameless heads on nameless walls with eyes that watch the world and can't forget.
Like the stranger that you've met, the ragged man in ragged clothes
The silver thorn of bloody rose, lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow

Now I think I know what you tried to say to me
How you suffered for you sanity .
How you tried to set them free
They would not listen they're not listening still
Perhaps they never will.

See Original Entry in Filipina's MySpace Blog.

Current mood: melancholy
Category: Life

Currently reading:
Inspiration: Your Ultimate Calling
By Wayne W. Dyer
Release date: 28 February, 2006

Tuesday, September 5, 2006

"STEAL SOME COVeRS, SHARE SOME SKiN"


Lighthearted conversations on a hard day's night,
Loud thoughts and lively whispers,
Full of promise to our hearts delight.
Kiss me now, your love pampers,
Like you said, everything will be just right.


Kindhearted feelings on a rainy day,
Sweet voice and warm smile,
Sincere confessions all the way.
Love me now, our passion binds
Like you said, everything will be just fine.


Tenderhearted touch and gentle kisses on an Autumn night,
True love and pure heart's desire,
No better combination one can ask.
Honor me now, our souls collide
Like you said, everything will set in tight.


Simpleminded gestures and casual, flirtatious glances on an unexpected day,
Sensual touch, oh such strong grip,
Over the cover, so comfortable in our skin.
Adore me now, our hearts entwined,
This I say to you: You are my everything!


See Original Entry in Filipina's MySpace Blog

Current mood: excited
Category: Romance and Relationships

Currently watching:
Something's Gotta Give
Release date: 30 March, 2004

Monday, September 4, 2006

The Morning After


I will never forget the feeling I had the morning after...


...we first met.

I was surprised! It was real nice.
Someone new! Who knew?
You could be true.


...we first connected.

You looked at me with gazing eyes.
Looked back at you. Oh please!
Hey, this one might be right!


...we first kissed.

You have this look... through my eyes, into my soul.
You leaned closer. Sweet lips. Oh, gentle touch.
Couldn't help it. Take me, I surrender!


...a night of bliss.

Sweet exchange of glances through the night,
Spontaneous and tiltilating dance steps,
Ahhh...what a time of my life!


...it was Sunday Morning.

Driving home intoxicated
Feeling high of life and inner laughter
Thank you but please God don't wake us after.


...I saw you once again.

Funny? Weird. Odd! I never felt you that far & out.
You said you want me. Get to know me, my family.
Man! You just kissed me long & hard that night.


...you told me your sweetest goodbye.

You seemed cold and your voice shivered.
Please stop! Let's just go back! Rewind!
I couldn't get you out of my mind.


...you wanted to see me so bad in mid November.

You kept me safe, secured and wanted,
Though you seemed lost, confused, conflicted;
Push that aside, but now I stand corrected.


...I was in tears but didn't care that

You avoided me, ignored my existence.
You stayed aloft, so preoccupied.
Couldn't say I love you but I've persisted .


...I finally told you that I love you.

My heart jumped for joy! Felt free at last!
Freeze. Oh, our great memories!
And the feelings I had for you that morning after.

See Original Entry in Filipina's MySpace Blog, posted on September 4, 2006 at 11:39pm

Current mood: loved
Category: Romance and Relationships

Currently listening:
Songs About Jane
By Maroon 5
Release date: 25 June, 2002

Overcoming Fear

What is fear?

FEAR is just another four letter word! It can function as a noun (subject or object) or a verb (action word) in a sentence. Fear is a feeling, an emotion, a thought, a sight, a sound, a thing, nothing, someone or no one. Fear is what we define it to be.

What do people fear most?

F - Failure, Full of Pain, Famine, Face of death, Face judgement, unknown Future
E - Embarassment, Errors, Elimination, Emancipation, not Enough
A - inAdequacy, inAction, inAbility, Accountability
R - Rejection, Responsibility, Reality, Renants of the past, Reduced,
S - Self, Suffering, Stress, inSecurity, inSignificance

Why are people fearful?

Failure Eliminates Anticipated Rewards.

Feeling Empty, Angry & Resentment.

Fear Elicits Anxiety, Rejection, Failure & Unacceptable Loss

What are the symptoms of fear?

F - Frightened, unFocused, Forceful, deFensive, oFFensive
E - Emotional breakdown,
A - Afraid, misplaced Anger, Anxious, Alarmed
R - Regretful, teRRified, iRRitable

How can a four letter word translate to a powerful action word, instead of a deadening, show stopper?

F - Faith, change of Focus, Freedom, Family & Friends, Full of Gratitude E - Enjoyment, Education
A - Attitude Adjustment, Appreciation, Acknowledgement, Acceptance, Accountability
R - Reasonableness, Reality check, Recognition
L - LOVE, Life, Laughter, Lord Jesus Christ
E - God's promise of Eternal life
S - Spitituality, in Spirit, God's promise of Salvation
S - Self-confidence, Self-assurance, Self-aknowing

How do I conquer fear?

FACE fear by pushing FORWARD towards it! END the cycle!
ALLOW the feeling to take place but not to overcome me, then RELEASE it!

Now I can LIVE, LAUGH & LOVE the Life I've always imagined as EFFORTLESSLY and SUCCESSFULLY as I SHOULD be living it!

--"F" is for FILIPINA (Fair, Fearless and Factual )


What do other people say about fear?

"Fuck Everything And Run!" --STEPHEN KING, Bag Of Bones

"False Evidence Appearing Real" - WAYNE DYER, Inspiration

"Fear is a action signal. Fearful emotions include everything from low levels of concern and apprehension to intense worry, anxiety, fright, and even terror. Fear serves a purpose, and its message is simple. Fear is simply the anticipation that something that's going to happen soon needs to ber prepared for." --TONY ROBBINS, Awaken the Giant Within

"The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear." --NELSON MANDELA, Autobiography

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself--nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance." --FRANKLIN DELANO ROOSEVELT, First Inaugural Address, Mar. 4, 1933

"The concessions of the weak are the concessions of fear." --EDMUND BURKE, speech on conciliation with America

"No passion so effectually robs the mind of all its powers of acting and reasoning as fear." --EDMUND BURKE, On the Sublime and Beautiful

"Fear is the enemy of logic." FRANK SINATRA, quoted in The Way You Wear Your Hat

"Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering." --YODA, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

"How sweet the name of Jesus sounds, In a believer's ear! It soothes his sorrows, heals his sounds, And drives away his fear." --JOHN NEWTON, Olney Hymns

"Fear God and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man." --BIBLE, Ecclesiastes 12:13

"The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown." --H.P. LOVECRAFT, Supernatural Horror in Literature

"If there is one thing which I would banish from the earth it is fear." --HENRY FORD, Theosophist Magazine, Feb. 1930

"Fear has many eyes and can see things underground." --MIGUEL DE CERVANTES, Don Quixote

"Fear is only as deep as the mind allows" --JAPANESE PROVERB

"Never let the fear of striking out get in your way." --BABE RUTH

"Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood." --Marie Curie

"Fear follows crime, and is its punishment." --VOLTAIRE

"Fear can hold you prisoner, hope can set you free." --Shawshank Redemption

"Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy." -- Dale Carnegie


How does the dictionary define fear?

Etymology: Middle English fer, from Old English f[AE]r sudden danger; akin to Old High German fAra ambush and perhaps to Latin periculum attempt, peril, Greek peiran to attempt

1 a : an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger b (1) : an instance of this emotion (2) : a state marked by this emotion
2 : anxious concern : SOLICITUDE
3 : profound reverence and awe especially toward God
4 : reason for alarm : DANGER

Synonyms: FEAR, DREAD, FRIGHT, ALARM, PANIC, TERROR, TREPIDATION mean painful agitation in the presence or anticipation of danger. FEAR is the most general term and implies anxiety and usually loss of courage <fear of the unknown>. DREAD usually adds the idea of intense reluctance to face or meet a person or situation and suggests aversion as well as anxiety dread>. FRIGHT implies the shock of sudden, startling fear <fright at being awakened suddenly>. ALARM suggests a sudden and intense awareness of immediate danger alarm>. PANIC implies unreasoning and overmastering fear causing hysterical activity panic>. TERROR implies the most extreme degree of fear terror>. TREPIDATION adds to DREAD the implications of timidity, trembling, and hesitation trepidation>.

Text: the emotion experienced in the presence or threat of danger fear>

Related Words: phobia; creeps, jitters, nervousness, willies; pang, qualm, twinge; agitation, discomposure, disquiet, perturbation; concern, dismay, worry; cowardice, faintheartedness, timidity, timorousness

Near Antonyms: aplomb, assurance, boldness, confidence, self-assurance, self-confidence; courage, dauntlessness, fearlessness, fortitude


How would you define fear?


See Original Entry in Filipina's MySpace Blog


Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Unlikely Forecast

Current NJ Weather Forecast: 70F, Cloudy. Showers likely and possiblility a thunderstorm this evening, then some lingering showers still possible overnight. Low 64F. Winds NE at 5 to 10mph. Rainfall around half an inch.

Probable cause: Possible heavy rain & flooding brought by Tropical Storm Ernesto creeping from Cuba to South Florida, making its way to NJ by the weekend unless it changes its course, away from Mid to Northern East Coast.

....yet ALL...just a possibility!

Current view outside from my window: Still bright outside yet with grey skies. Very mild wind blowing the tree leaves, enough that they sway slightly side to side. Pavement is wet, a little puddle of water that I can see just enough shadows of its surrounding. The plants look green and alive, no need for watering tonight. I hear some noise but when I took the time to just listen, closed my eyes, I could hear the birds chirping, water dripping from the drains, a drizzle from the sky, cars ignition starting, thunder creeping slightly. Sounds unusually peaceful. Seems orderly and timely. I can almost smell the Jersey shore from here.

Current FP Mood Forecast: 70F, Cloudy. Showers likely and possiblility a thunderstorm this evening, then some lingering showers still possible overnight. Slightly mellow, quiet, contemplative but not gloomy. Still as the gray clouds.

Probable cause: Down pour ended at the beginning of August. Possible drought through the end of the week due to untapped resources. Dams only half full and in need of refilling, rechanneling, redirecting the flow of water to the new flood gates.

....yet ALL...a possibility!

Current view inside to my window: Still and contemplative state. Hear the keyboard clicking and the outburst of thoughts captured in a weblog. Feel the inspiration, being sought after. Small windows opened...one, two, three... weather.com for the current Jersey weather forecast, four,five, six, then seven...browsed through random blogs. Unlikely places, as if intentional...came cross a blog entry from a young & insightful stranger from the opposite coast, who talked about disappointments in relationships such as friendships and jobs/careers. Feel the comparison, feel the mood change. One day at the top, the next at the bottom. One day celebrated, rewarded, wanted, hot to handle! The next...forgotten; emancipated; ignored; left out cold!

Frustration! No! Breakthrough!

Makes sense? The dichothemy and cycle of life cannot be avoided. If so, perhaps the next would be favorable since the unfavorable had already happened.

....ALL JUST POSSIBILITIES! Could be a reality. When does it end?

No! When does it begin?

Breaking News!

What appears to be in the bottom, may just be the hault needed to gain momentum to bounce again, to soar, to fly higher than ever imagined!

What apeears to be gloomy as the grey sky, may just be whats needed for hope during times of drought almost like the contemplative state needed to take time for deep thoughts & coming up with a unstoppable and productive resolution during troubled times.

What appears to be an likely forcasts, chain of progressing events due to probable causes may simply be... just forecasts!

What is not an unlikely forecast could that after the cloudy, stormy day comes a bright sunny sky. Just like the weather, predictability is just an interpretation.


See Original Entry in Filipina's MySpace Blog
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Life

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